from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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