i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
