i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
tell me about the eggs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
