Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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