I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
