I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
