If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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