at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this boner is exhausting
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
