We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
