Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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