come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
and you fell through a lawn chair
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
