Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
