Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
