This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We are all done wearing pants today
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
