No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
