Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize