Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
