i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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