Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
