Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do herpes really smell.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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