you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
