How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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