My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
