I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
