drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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