I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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