the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
