So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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