im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Boobs are out for the taking
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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