Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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