i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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