Who did Billy Mays play for?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't turn off my feet"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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