one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
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