you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
