How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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