planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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