i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
