I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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