I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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