they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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