i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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