you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
