I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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