If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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