well I can't set my house on fire every night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
