you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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