I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
