I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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