Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
