Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
