She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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