ugly people sure do ruin things
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
