Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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