Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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