thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
