Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh god it's open bar.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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