The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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