I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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