dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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