U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
