we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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