Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
