...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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